There's a fine line between flirting experiences and encounters.

My annoyance with the complete absence of buses was exacerbated by the fact that it was almost mid-April and I was shivering under my winter coat. My discontent immediately dissipated as I looked up and realized I was being watched by a very handsome voyeur who had stepped outside the nearby restaurant for a smoke.

In the growing darkness we let our eyes meet for an unusually long time in order to register if indeed we were checking the other out. Once we both realized that we were, we immediately broke eye contact and then politely took turns looking at each other while the other one was pretending not to notice. As I admired the joie de vivre in which he inhaled his cigarette, I willed the bus not to come. I figured that if the bus took long enough, and I gave him enough signals of approachability in the darkness, he would eventually come over. Yeah right, who was I kidding? London males don't randomly come up to strangers at bus stops. This only happens in New York. And, because for the first time, I actually didn't want the bus to come, it came within moments. He saw it was coming too. Just to make sure that our subtle flirting wasn't a figment of my imagination, I gave him another glance as I got on the bus. Yep, he was definitely looking.

Now that I was safely on the bus, it was much easier to show my interest, and, as I made my way to the very back, I took a final look out the back window to make sure the whole thing wasn't just my imagination. It wasn't. He was still looking, or rather, we were still looking. As the bus pulled away, I thought of the New Yorkers responses to my flirting research. They indicated that they were never content with flirting just for flirting's sake, in the case of someone they fancied. In answer to the question what they would expect after an evening of flirting with someone they were attracted to, the majority answered they would only be happy if there was some tangible result at the end: a phone number, date, a shag, or a kiss. The idea of flirting, solely for the sake of it, did not bode well with the New Yorkers. They much preferred the tangible encounters. I heard of many woeful New Yorkers who had seen someone on the tube, made eye contact, didn't do anything about it, and ended up chagrining themselves for years to come. I gently tried to point out the joy in the experience, and that having an encounter wasn't always necessary. They told me to be quiet and offered me a bagel and lox.

I am a big fan of flirting 'experiences'. I believe that every contact with someone doesn't have to be huge and significant. Some experiences make you smile, some make you happy, some make you feel attractive, some make you feel wistful, some put you in touch with humanity. But, what if one of those experiences should have been an encounter, and, because it's such a fine line between the two, that you just couldn't see it? Then, what?

Well, I guess you just wait for the next one.

Flirting opportunities are like buses. Wait ten minutes and another will come along.