Friday 30 November 2007

Unique signals of sexuality

I recently returned from a holiday in Dubai. What a fascinating place! The mixture of the local Emiratis, only making up only 20% of the population, the large amount of low-wage labourers, mostly made up of Indians and Pakistanis, and the ex-pat contingency, consisting of Brits, Aussies, and a few North Americans, makes for an interesting mix of culture.

Each of these cultures, has their own style of flirting, and, the locals would have a different idea as to what flirting is then the ex-pats. In fact, 'flirting' seems to have a disreputable reputation in Dubai. Poor flirting is *so* misunderstood.

However, I noticed an interesting trend amongst the Emirati women(and I specify Emirati because saying 'Arab' women when referring to the women in one country would be like saying 'Europeans' when referring only to the French) is to wear very strong perfumes. Which, I can only assume, is a way to still show their femininity, beneath a long, black, cloak. Because most of their body and hair is covered, thereby eliminating the traditional way that women have embodied their womanliness, Emirati have found other ways, even if it's less obvious. This includes perfectly manicured and pedicured digits, as well as flashes of fabulous jewelry beneath the burkas.

This shows us that just as there is no obvious formula to flirting, signals of sexuality also differ according to context. But, if you look closely, it's always there.

Thursday 8 November 2007

The Overland Romeo

The other day, as I sat down on a near-empty overland train, and dutifully started reading my newspaper, I couldn't help but to first notice a very attractive man sitting a few sections away. I notice it's best to sit far away from your subject in these situations, in order to properly check them out. If they are too close, you just can't get the same perusal time; you wouldn't dare.

As he was sitting rather far away, it was hard to tell for sure, but it seemed like he was also perusing me. Before long, he got up from his seat, feigned interest in the train map on the wall, and then asked me if I knew how long it took to get to Stratford. I was impressed by his assertiveness, and his tall, dark, and handsome exterior, so I replied very politely that I was sorry, but I didn't know. I then went back to reading my newspaper. (hey, this is London after all!) Not to be dismissed so easily, he sat down across from me, and asked a few more questions about this place called Stratford which, we both knew, was a guise for chatting to me.

From his behaviour, I knew that he was new to London. No matter which country you are from, after being in London for a certain amount of time, everyone becomes trained to the do's and do not's of 'proper' behaviour. Sadly, this is how it works. My suspicions were correct: he was a newbie. He had only been here for 7 months. We enjoyed a pleasant conversation on the train, and three stops away from my departure point, I made the decision to give him my number because he knew, as soon as he sat down, that he was going to get it. Like the precision of the timings of the overland trains, the question came exactly3 minutes before my alighting point. I thought, why not?

I got home and told my English friend that I had just met someone on the train. The fact that I had the flu, was wearing tennis shoes, no-make-up, had hair like a rat's nest, and that somebody wanted to chat me up was not the surprising part for her, it was that I had given my number to a 'complete stranger'. I replied,"It's not like I gave him my address and a map." Besides, I had met my last boyfriend because he was working at the call centre where I had to continuously call. The man I almost married, I met sitting outside a cafe in Singapore. In fact, I teach people how to meet others in day-to-day settings, so all I could do was explain it as a cultural difference between British and American styles. It's much easier to meet new people in American culture than it is in British culture. For the latter, it's necessary to be 'introduced' to someone or meet in designated circumstances, such as school, uni, or work, in order to forge a relationship with someone.

As for my overland romeo, I am not expecting fireworks and roses, but it's nice to see that people can still meet others in day-to-day places, even when they have the flu and are sucking on Strepsils.

'Love Trap'

I was watching the new series 'Love Trap' last night. The premise is to take one, young, good-looking, Swedish female, mix her with a Brit, an Italian, a German, a Ugandan (?), an Italian, and an Australian, bake for 30 minutes, and enjoy. The premise, which is based on national stereotypes, revolves around the notion that, 'Italian men will act like this' and 'A German man would do this'. Unfortunately, one person cannot represent the actions/thoughts of a whole nation. (I know, it's very unfortunate for t.v. land that it can't be wrapped up in a tidier package)

The premise of the show was taken from the much-loved show called 'Tourist trap' which still revolved around stereotypes and huge generalizations, but had a bit more validity, considering it was based on the actions of 15 people, rather than just one!

The good news is that while watching this programme, I took vigorous mental notes about sections which were good and which sections could definitely be improved (for example, the contestant selection process. If you are going to base the actions of one person as a representation of a whole culture, then at least make sure this person embodies all of our presumptions about that culture!) Funnily enough, as I sat down at my computer, with my list of suggestions, I was called by the producer of the show, asking if I had seen it and wanting to know my thoughts on the program. Watch this space-with an Anthropologist's assistance, we might see a new and improved Love Trap on our screens, very soon. (and ladies, I will make sure they choose some nice eye candy next time!)

Wednesday 7 November 2007

'New Trends'

There seems to be a new trend amongst women and men; at least, this is what the media is portraying. In the last week, I have been contacted by both a newspaper journalist and a documentary team for Channel Four about the subject of women paying for escorts. The poor, male, documentary researcher, only having the perspective of a poor, male, documentary researcher, was convinced that older women only pay for sex because they don't have the ability to 'pick-up' at bars anymore. Little did he realize, that other issues might be involved. Such as, why should she sit in a smelly old pub, when she can just 'dial-a-man' and one can come to her doorstep?

There was also the 'new trend' of older women, perhaps recently divorced, having relations with younger 'toy boys'. The shock, the horror, the fun!!! What these two trends have in common is a recent shift in economics for women. Unlike previous generations, where a woman was more likely to work in the home and therefore have less access to hard currency, she is now aspiring to a similar economic freedom as men.

Another factor is societies shifting attitudes towards what constitutes a relationship. As we move furthur away from the stifling, yet traditional model of male/female, monogamous relationships and more towards an openness about different types of relationships, ones which are less stringent, we will see things such as gay marriages becoming more accepted, and older women choosing to buy their buff, younger men, Armani suits and Gucci watches.