Thursday 8 November 2007

The Overland Romeo

The other day, as I sat down on a near-empty overland train, and dutifully started reading my newspaper, I couldn't help but to first notice a very attractive man sitting a few sections away. I notice it's best to sit far away from your subject in these situations, in order to properly check them out. If they are too close, you just can't get the same perusal time; you wouldn't dare.

As he was sitting rather far away, it was hard to tell for sure, but it seemed like he was also perusing me. Before long, he got up from his seat, feigned interest in the train map on the wall, and then asked me if I knew how long it took to get to Stratford. I was impressed by his assertiveness, and his tall, dark, and handsome exterior, so I replied very politely that I was sorry, but I didn't know. I then went back to reading my newspaper. (hey, this is London after all!) Not to be dismissed so easily, he sat down across from me, and asked a few more questions about this place called Stratford which, we both knew, was a guise for chatting to me.

From his behaviour, I knew that he was new to London. No matter which country you are from, after being in London for a certain amount of time, everyone becomes trained to the do's and do not's of 'proper' behaviour. Sadly, this is how it works. My suspicions were correct: he was a newbie. He had only been here for 7 months. We enjoyed a pleasant conversation on the train, and three stops away from my departure point, I made the decision to give him my number because he knew, as soon as he sat down, that he was going to get it. Like the precision of the timings of the overland trains, the question came exactly3 minutes before my alighting point. I thought, why not?

I got home and told my English friend that I had just met someone on the train. The fact that I had the flu, was wearing tennis shoes, no-make-up, had hair like a rat's nest, and that somebody wanted to chat me up was not the surprising part for her, it was that I had given my number to a 'complete stranger'. I replied,"It's not like I gave him my address and a map." Besides, I had met my last boyfriend because he was working at the call centre where I had to continuously call. The man I almost married, I met sitting outside a cafe in Singapore. In fact, I teach people how to meet others in day-to-day settings, so all I could do was explain it as a cultural difference between British and American styles. It's much easier to meet new people in American culture than it is in British culture. For the latter, it's necessary to be 'introduced' to someone or meet in designated circumstances, such as school, uni, or work, in order to forge a relationship with someone.

As for my overland romeo, I am not expecting fireworks and roses, but it's nice to see that people can still meet others in day-to-day places, even when they have the flu and are sucking on Strepsils.

2 comments:

Bailey said...

That happens with me sometimes, but it's usually me that starts the conversations. I've met a few guys like that, but not too many are as...assertive as I would like them to be.

Mizz allure said...

Hi Bailey,
The trick is to make it seem like they were the ones to do the work. I realized afterwards, that he only approached me after I gave him some very strong signals of approachability. (Okay, I might have been staring :-)

When I interviewed men and women for my international flirting survery, the majority of men said they would love it if a woman approached them, assuming it wasn't in an 'agressive' way.

Don't leave the assertiveness to the men. It's 2008 (or close enough) Women should be assertive too! Besides, what's the worst that can happen...