What should I wear tonight? Skirts vs. trousers

At a recent seminar, a woman asked if men preferred women in skirts, over trousers. Generally speaking, I believe men like women in anything- or even more accurately, in less than anything! Most men could care less about the latest fashions, styles or designers. These are things that (some) women find important. I’m sure you have heard the phrase that women dress for other women.

Opinions are one thing, but hard data is another. Referring to the research I gathered in my latest International flirting study, one of the questions that I asked men was “Do you prefer the more natural look or a woman who is ‘well turned out’”? The most common response, regardless of the culture, was that men preferred women who were dressed appropriately for the occasion. Ex. Sat night-well turned out and Sunday afternoon, natural. You see, they really are easy to please! They also thought it was important for women to look comfortable in what they were wearing. One man pointed out that there was nothing more unattractive than seeing a woman try and walk in painful, pointy shoes.


According to these men, being comfortable in one’s own skin is more important than showing skin. I discovered this for myself on one Monday night, when after going to the cinema, I found myself completely unprepared and under-dressed, when I ended up at the legendary meat-market bar Tiger Tiger, wearing jeans, a long-sleeved baggy shirt, with my hair in a pony tail, and no makeup. As I stood ordering my first drink, I was chatted up by a very handsome male. Apparently, it was actually my “natural” look which attracted him to me. I didn’t tell him it was, more accurately, my ‘lazy’ look.

As I brought the drinks back to my friend, I remarked how much time and energy I had wasted in the past getting ready for a night out. It appears that, it wasn’t even necessary. A study at Syracuse University backed my findings. When shown pictures of women dressed in designer wear to lounge wear, the men did not differentiate between dress in the case of the moderately attractive to attractive women, no matter what they were wearing. But of course, we must keep in mind that this was one group of men, in one city, and one culture. The results could be different elsewhere.

But the real secret in this whole skirts vs. trousers debate, is the attitude that you are wearing it with. Your attitude has a lot more influence on how others perceive you then what you are wearing. When you feel confident and are looking good, others respond accordingly. After all, as a famous philosopher said, “Our outsides are just shells for our souls.”