Why can I only attract the people I don't like, and not the ones that I do?

It seems to be Murphy’s law that the semi-charming, geeky usher from the cinema calls us constantly, as if we were the only number on his speed dial (well, ‘we’ shouldn’t have given it to him in the first place. But I will save that rant for a later date) On the other hand, the gorgeous policeman who took our number instead of giving us a speeding ticket, rarely ever calls. And, before thoughts turn into actions, let me stop you by saying that calling 911 to get his attention is a very bad idea!

Keeping in mind the golden mantra that people behave towards us the way that we behave towards them, in order to reverse the situation between the two, all we have to do is reverse our behaviour. Act towards the gorgeous police officer, the way you act towards the semi-charming, geeky usher. First instance, do you ever call the SCGU? (Not very often) When the SCGU calls you, do you talk incessantly for hours, recanting every detail of your life from the advantages of Extra chewing gum over Orbit to the ‘proper’ way to make tea? (No) When he asks you out, are you always free? (Rarely, only if you’ve already seen every programme on tele that night…at least once) Who is the first to end the conversation? (Usually you, because you have to wash your hair for the third time that evening)

Now believe me, I am not into manipulation or making people feel bad, but this is simply a case of using human nature to your advantage. It’s pretty obvious that things we must put effort into carry more value than things that we don’t. Although, let me be clear, that this stage is different from the first encounter of meeting someone, where you should not be playing ‘hard to get’. Different tactics apply here. (And I cringe to myself as I use the word ‘tactics’).


Now, let’s look at your behaviour towards the Gorgeous Policeman. How many times (or millions of time, rather) have you called him? (yes, we must count the times you called and hung-up as well). Do you say ‘yes’ every time he asks you out? (He usually doesn’t get a chance to as you have already done it) Do you ever let him get off the phone, or are you too busy recounting tales of your mother’s recent hip surgery? Basically, you are acting more alluring to the person you don’t want, then to the person you want! So reverse the behaviour and bag yourself a cop.