Who should pay on a first date? The theory

It seems, that except from the liberated, Stockholm females, and my friend Nicole, most women prefer the man to pay. From an anthropological perspective, her preference for him to pay could demonstrate his willingness to 'invest' in her and indicate if he will be generous with his resources in the future. From a personal perspective, unless he is a student, if he doesn't pay he is just plain stingy!



However, the issue is less about who should pay, and more about who wants to pay. I have often been asked to comment on radio shows about this issue; and, it's positioned as if paying is a burden, as in, who should have the chore of paying. Let's not forget that in many non-western cultures, such as Middle Eastern or South-East Asian , it is considered an honour to pay the bill. I have seen grown, Turkish men, one-step away from full-on combat in attempts to wrestle the bill from the other's hands. In South-East Asian culture, protocol is a bit easier to follow; the eldest member of the group is expected to pay.



So, forgetting about the 'shoulds', let's put it another way-Who wants to give the other a gift? Because, after all, buying someone dinner is another version of giving someone a present. This is why, whatever you do, DO NOT split the bill!!!! Splitting the bill, turns a perfectly, lovely evening, into a dinner transaction, and no one gets to feel good. Neither the person who paid and gave the gift, nor the person who had dinner bought for them, and received the gift.

Now, who wants to go out to dinner? All this writing has made me hungry!