I have a friend. We will call him timid Tim, both because sometimes he is timid, and because it’s fun to say. Timid Tim never fails to give off the wrong signals around a woman that he likes. Unfortunately, while Timid and I both know that he is only acting stand-offish because he really likes a particular woman, the poor woman interprets this behaviour as disinterest and wanders elsewhere.
We were at the pub on Saturday night and Timid was up to his usual tricks, once again. I am happy to report that the ending was happy, but he would have lost her if his good friend the ‘flirting expert’ hadn’t had been there to show him the error of his ways!
You see, in our daily lives, the hippocampus (the rational, ‘thinking’ part of the brain) and the amygdala (the emotional part of the brain) usually shares the role of moderator between our heads and our hearts quite nicely. But, it appears in flirting situations, the amygdala takes over and all logical thought is discarded. This explains why intelligent, successful people turn into bumbling 16 year-olds in the presence of someone they fancy. Furthurmore, as a self-inflicted protective mechanism of the heart, people pretend to not be interested in someone they like. One of the great keys in flirting is to be able to convey this message of ‘I rather fancy you’ to the person whom you actually fancy.
If you are able to do this, it is very powerful (not to mention effective) because people respond to those who they feel like them. Let’s face it, we like to be liked! When given the choice between someone showing interest and attention and someone either ‘playing it cool’ or flitting around amongst everyone, we will choose the individual attention every time.
After a stern talking to with Timid, he made his interest in her much clearer. She in turn, reciprocated. The last I heard, they were having a beautiful Sunday lunch together.
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